I want to share with you a little known communication tip that is so powerful it will help you get what you want out of relationships and leave others feeling great about you. Not only that but it’s so simple and effective that you’ll want to put it into practice right away.
It’s called the Adjective Persuasion Principle.
The Adjective Persuasion Principle Explained
The principle is simple:
- Think about a positive adjective that describes a characteristic you would like someone you know to have.
- Use the adjective to describe the person when you are talking to them.
- Observe how they actively try and fit into that personality characteristic you have just labelled them with.
When you see an example you will realise just how simple this technique is.
The Adjective Persuasion Principle in Action
Let’s pretend your boss at work has a difficult time accepting any new ideas you offer him. Using the principle you are going to persuade him to be more open-minded towards you.
Here’s what you say:
It always amazes me how open-minded you are to the new ideas I have.
Then sit back and watch them lap up even the craziest ideas you have.
Let’s try another one, this time on a friend:
I love how adventurous you are. You are so fun to be around.
This example has two adjectives that complement each other stacked together. When you next see your friend, drop this phrase into the conversation at the appropriate moment. In the next few weeks you’ll notice them becoming more fun and adventurous.
The beauty of this principle is that the person does not have to be adventurous or fun for it to work.
The Need to Be Accepted
I can hear you saying, ‘How can this possibly work!?’. Let me explain…
As humans, we are strongly conditioned to seek acceptance from others. We all want other people to like us…badly!
So if someone says to you, ‘You are so fun to be around’, you instinctively understand that the person values fun and you will unconsciously alter your behaviour in order to appear more fun to them.
Once you’ve labelled someone as ‘cool’ or ‘adventurous’ or ‘intelligent’ they will want to prove that your label is accurate to both themselves and you! It’s the same reason why parents who continually tell their children how proud they are of them, will raise successful kids…because unconsciously they want to prove their label correct.
That’s why the adjective needs to be positive. It should be something that the person would like to be anyway, even if they are not. It will make them work towards it because you’ve given them confidence that they already posses that characteristic because you’ve just told them it’s why you like them!
For best results use the same adjectives on the same person repeatedly over a period of time. You should also work with people you already have a rapport with such as lovers, family or friends.
Some More Examples
- I love how kind and caring you are.
- You’re such a generous person.
- It amazes me how healthy you are.
- I love the fact you are always on time whenever we meet.
- I’ve never met anyone with so much energy as you!
- You’re the most reliable friend I have.
In Summary
I can’t stress to you how powerful and persuasive this technique is.
By labeling someone with a positive characteristic they will begin moulding themselves to fit your label because they want your appreciation and acceptance and you will get the benefit of that characteristic.
Don’t just absorb this information and think how clever it is. Get out there and USE IT to improve your relationships!
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