To understand what kind of love you are feeling and where in your relationship you are, you should understand the differences between the three types of love. The three different kinds of love are Eros Love, Philos Love and Agape (unconditional love).

Eros Love

Eros love is also known as romantic love. It is that feeling you get in the honeymoon period of a relationship when your new love can do no wrong. You have ‘fallen in love’. You are smitten by everything the object of your desire says and does. You are oblivious to your lovers faults and love everything about them. Eros or romantic love is so powerful because of chemicals released by your brain whenever you are with that special person. Read more about romantic love.

Eros love generally happens in the first 0-8 months of a relationship.

Philos Love

Philos love is the deeper love between friends or couples. It is experienced once you have got to know the real person, not the man or woman you see during the romantic love phase. It is based on more than how physically attractive a guy or girl is.

Philos love takes time to develop, unlike eros love which can come crashing down on you in a matter of seconds (think teenage crushes!). You can only enter philos love when you have spent much time with your lover and really understand what he or she is about. You know their core beliefs and morals, the way they think and what they love doing. If these values are aligned with yours then you will feel Philos love towards them.

Philos love begins once the infatuation stage of eros love has passed.

Agape or Unconditional Love

The highest form of love is Agape. It is totally unconditional. You love that person no matter who they are or what they do. Agape doesn’t have to happen in relationships. You can feel unconditional love towards animals, towards your parents, and towards your friends. It is sometimes know as ‘divine love’ and often refered to in spirituality.

Romantic love is that amazing feeling you get in your body when you are with your partner. You feel complete. You feel safe and as though nothing in the world can go wrong.

It is one of the three types of love that we can experience.

What Causes Romantic Love?

Romantic love is caused by chemicals in your body. Neurobiologists discovered that the chemical phenylethlamine is released from the brain when a couple is together. This chemical acts in much the same way as amphetamine drugs would, producing feelings of elation, euphoria, passion and elation.

We often become addicted to our partner in the first few months of a new relationship (known as the honeymoon period) because we crave the exciting effects of phenylethlamine and can only experience them when we are together with them. That’s why initially many couples can spend hours or days together and not get bored of each other’s company.

Romantic Love And Infatuation

If you’ve ever had a crush on someone, then you’ve been in romantic love. Even if that person did not reciprocate the feelings, simply seeing or being near them is enough to trigger your brain into producing phenylethlamine. At puberty many children develop crushes on older boys or girls, even when they’ve never spoken to them!

The downside of infatuation is that you tend to overlook any obvious flaws that the person may have. You might say things like “But he’s perfect for me!” even when all your friends are pointing out how wrong he is for you.

The End of Romantic Love

Romantic love naturally comes to an end when our body gets accostomed to the high levels of phenylethlamine in our system. Eventually the effects are no longer as powerful and we begin seeing the our partner for who they really are, warts and all. At this stage couples either break up, or enter a deeper and more meaningful stage of their relationship.

As a man, the thought of a bunch of flowers sent by a lover to your workplace no doubt fills you with horror and dread. Its a sure-fire way to set yourself up for shame, humiliation, teasing and ridicule by your co-workers.

BUT…the exact OPPOSITE is true for women.

Which is why you sending a gift to their workplace is a quick way to make her feel very special.

Here’s why.

Women love people to know that they have a man in their life. You may never see or speak to her fellow employees, but trust me, she wants them to know about you. She wants them to know that a man has snapped her up, that she has someone to go home and cuddle with, and talk to, and to take her out, and hold hands with and…you get the picture. It validates her and makes her feel loved and cherished.

So, when ordering flowers think like a girl, keep these tips in mind:

1. Send The Flowers Somewhere Public

Like her workplace. Don’t send them to her house where she’ll have to open them alone. That way she will get to stare at them all day, and dream of you. She’ll also have people ask her who they are from, giving her the opportunity to say wonderful things about you!

2. Make The Bouquet Big and bold

Notice I said big not necessarily expensive. Just make sure everyone in the office is going to see them coming through the front door and hand delivered to the lucky lady.

3. Personalise, Personalise, Personalise!

Don’t forget to add a little note with the flowers. Most florists will offer this. It doesn’t have to be long, a couple of lines will do. Just make sure you mean what you say and it is ORIGINAL. Don’t go with boring lines you use over and over. Make it relevant to the situation.

Remember these little tips when your next need to send flowers. Both you and her will get so much more out of it.

A collection of 10 sexy and funny TV commercials that made us chuckle. Enjoy!

1. Hahn Beer

2. Durex – Get It On

3 Aero – Melt

4. Levi’s – Laundrette

5. Diet Coke Break

6. Sony Vaio

7. Scruffs Hardware

8. New York Lingerie

9. Agent Provocateur – Love Me Tender…Or Else

10. Guiness Beer

You know those ‘drop in your business card to win a bottle of wine’ boxes you see in bars and restaurants?

We’re going to make one that you are you’re partner will actually be gagging to fill to the brim.

The idea is simple. Throughout the week, you and your boyfriend or girlfriend write down something naughty you would like your partner to do to you, and place it in the box.

On the weekend, you open the box and pick one out. If it’s something you wrote, you’re in luck because your lover has to indulge you. If it’s something they wrote, then you oblige them.

Get it?

You can use anything from a cardboard shoe box to a wooden sea chest for the box. Try and make it look fairly romantic though. For example, if you are using a shoe box, paint the outside black, tape down the lid and cut a slit in the top to slide the paper into. You might also decide to decorate the outside with sexy images.

Whatever tickles your fancy.

Here are some guidelines to make the most of this game:

1. Push your boundaries

When you drop something in the box, make it something you don’t normally do together. The idea of this game is to explore you and your lover’s sexuality so make it fun, naughty, exciting, or all three.

2. Leave the box somewhere visible

You’ll be more likely to put ideas into it if you walk past it several times a day. Don’t leave it in such an obviously place that anyone visiting your house will enquire about it (unless you want them to!).

3. Write 10 actions to get started

Get the game off to a flying start by writing down 10 suggests and putting them all in the box. Get your lover to do the same. This will mean you won’t know what you’re going to get when you finally do pull one out together.

4. The more suggestions you put in, the more you’ll get out

They say you only get out what you put in, and with a lovers’ fantasy box this is very true. If you put in 10 suggestions every week and your partner only puts in 1, guess whose going to be the lucky on at playtime!

5. Be Open-minded

When playing the game as intended, you may come across a particular fancy that you never knew your partner had. Remain open-minded about it because your lover has been trusting enough to share a personal detail about themselves.

Try not to judge their suggestion. Never dismiss it as stupid or wrong.

If it is not something you are comfortable with, then leave it aside and pull out a new one. You can discuss the issue delicately with your partner after the game has finished. That way the experience won’t be interrupted.

Conclusion

The lover’s fantasy box idea is a great game for increasing intimacy and sharing personal fantasies in a safe and open way with your partner.

Don’t wait. Do something about it today.

When you get home from work, spend 5 minutes finding a suitable container.

I guarantee that small investment on your part will repay you a thousand times over in pleasure and fun.

A romantic gift ideas site would just not be complete without the obligatory ‘50 Things To Do For Your Lover’ article.

Well, it’s time to buck the trend, folks…

Yes…I’m talking 49 romantic things to do!

Many of them are free and only take a couple of seconds to do, but will make your lover feel incredibly special.

1. Cook them a romantic meal and serve it by candle light.
2. Give them a massage.
3. Run them a bubble bath and then join them in it.
4. Do the grocery shopping and pick up their favourite treat.
5. Write ‘I love you’ on the bathroom mirror in lipstick.
6. Send them a love letter.
7. Leave them a single rose at their door, ring the door bell and run away.
8. Write them an erotic story.
9. Send them a naughty text message.
10. Send them a naughty photo message.
11. Talk them for a walk in the park.
12. Take them to a fancy restaurant.
13. Give them a big hug.
14. Tell them how much you love them.
15. Write ‘I love you’ on 10 post-it notes and hide them around her house.
16. Make them breakfast in bed.
17. Drink champagne with them in the park.
18. Give them a call during the day on their work phone.
19. Read them a bedtime story.
20. Have a shower together and involve copious quantities of baby oil.
21. Cuddle up with them on the sofa and watch their favourite film.
22. Give them a head massage.
23. Take them shopping and give them a budget to spend.
24. Write them a poem.
25. Take a photo of them and have it printed.
26. Make a collage of photos of you and them together.
27. Paint them a picture.
28. Tell them the qualities you admire in them the most.
29. Dance together.
30. Send them a sexy email.
31. Gaze into their eyes without saying a word.
32. Look up at the stars.
33. Share a secret with them.
34. Take them to their favourite bar.
35. Hire a car and take them for a drive.
36. Light candles around the house and wait for them to get home.
37. Cover them in whipped cream and lick it off.
38. Send her a bunch of flowers.
39. Put a love not in their pocket when they aren’t looking.
40. Leave them a sexy message on their answer machine.
41. Buy a box of chocolates and lay them in a trail.
42. Sprinkle rose petals on the bed.
43. Fill up her car with gas.
44. Whisper sweet nothings in their ear.
45. Lay them a treasure hunt around their flat (you can decide what the treasure is!).
46. Blow a raspberry on their tummy.
47. Do the washing up.
48. Buy and plant a sunflower in their garden just for them.
49. Wake them up in the morning with kisses.

There are hundreds more ideas. You just have to get a little creative. Leave a comment with your romantic thing to do with your partner below. We’d love to hear your thoughts.

Squire Tingle and I share a dream of buying a house big enough to have a secret love room.

I’ve always wanted a secret room, accessible via an Indiana Jones stye bookshelf or secret panel.  So adventurous, mysterious and exciting.

As you stepped into the room you would enter into a time and place of sumptuous beauty, elegant design, with a luxurious atmosphere that would ooze sensuality.  The fabrics would be silk and satin and the whole room would be elaborately embellished with erotic artwork sure to ignite the romance and passion of anyone who dared enter this scarlet haven.

I don’t think there would be much furniture other than a bed and our tantra chair.  Squire Tingle is quite the minimalist.  Of course the bed would have to be a classic four poster (all the better for restraining me with) complete with a Tempur mattress and Egyptian cotton sheets. I hope there would also be room for a love swing.

I’m thinking a simple carpet with sheep skin rugs on the floor and beautiful wall paper covering one wall. I wonder if we can find one with erotic images like the Turkish restaurant in Covent Garden.  The main focal point of the walls would be artistic and erotic photos of us from our boudoir photography shoot as well as large flat screen TV to watch sexy films or just relax to on a quiet night in.

Light is going to be hugely important.  Good lighting can completely set the mood so there will need to be a number of different options.  I love the new Philips LivingColors which give you amazing mood flexibility and the Sun Jars that provide that soft romantic candle light glow without the ensuing fire hazard!  There would, of course, be a chandelier hanging from the ceiling. Wall lighting would be provided by lights made from casts of the sexiest bits of our anatomy (see Body Sculpture and Life Sculptures).

Lastly, but by no means least, there would need to be a wardrobe for all our toys and books.

And there you have my secret fantasy room!  I hope I get to create it for real one day. Right now I’m feeling quite sleepy so I might just go and find Squire Tingle and see what he is up to.

Sharing fantasies with your partner can be extremely erotic. I love hearing Squire Tingle’s naughty thoughts, not only because I love seeing him get hot and bothered but also because I love that he is willing to share his inner most secrets with me.

I’ve always had a large collection of Black Lace books in my toy chest and recently we bought Nancy Friday’s Men in Love together. It makes for fascinating reading, especially as it enables us to talk about the fantasies that we each respond too (if it hasn’t become blatantly obvious in more physical ways!).

I don’t necessarily agree with Nancy Friday’s agenda in Men in Love but I love reading so many varied and interesting fantasies from men of all different sizes, shapes, ethnicity, social demographic and age.

“Love, love is a verb, love is a doing word.”

Song lyrics often hide true and pertinent philosophies. Love is not a feeling, it is in your actions.

One of the most romantic, personal and sensual gifts you can give your lover is to bring one of their fantasies to life. I love bringing Squire Tingle’s fantasies to life.  It might not always be possible to replicate precisely (I don’t think I’ll ever arrange for us to have sex in space!) but a little creativity and preparation can go a long way.

If this idea appeals to you, but you want to make sure you are comfortable with the situation that you end up in, I recommend the following approach.

• Send your lover an invitation explicitly stating (and the more explicit the better) exactly what is on offer and when it will happen.
• Carefully describe how the scene will unfold including what will happen before, during and after.
• Hint as to what your reaction will be.  Maybe you’ll be hesitant at first and need convincing but then get carried away in the moment.
• If you are a sensitive being like me then I recommend covering what will happen afterwards so that the experience is hugely pleasurable for both of you.
• Packaging details are import here. Think parchment, fountain pens, ribbons and sealing wax. 

As the author of the fantasy, I like to keep some element of surprise for myself.

For example, if the fantasy was to meet a stranger in the park on an evening stroll and to make out in the bushes (you get the idea) then I’d write that the fantasy can unfold at one of three specific times (e.g. Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday afternoon) and then I’d arrange to be walking in the park on each day. The receiver of your letter then gets to choose the day, making it all the more exciting and real for you. It’s delicious not knowing when I’m going to be ravished. As we all know, anticipation is the mother of all turn ons.

I usually send the invitation about a week in advance to build suspense. It’s wonderful knowing that Squire Tingle is reading it and getting all flustered thinking about what he is going to do to me. He tells me it is very distracting… Anticipation works both ways!

If you want to go the extra mile I highly recommend sending a small present with the invitation, maybe some Karma Sutra Oil of Love or a Coco De Mer Tease Gift Set.

Your most powerful erotic tool is your own imagination so enjoy it!

I want to share with you a little known communication tip that is so powerful it will help you get what you want out of relationships and leave others feeling great about you. Not only that but it’s so simple and effective that you’ll want to put it into practice right away.

It’s called the Adjective Persuasion Principle.

The Adjective Persuasion Principle Explained

The principle is simple:

1. Think about a positive adjective that describes a characteristic you would like someone you know to have.
2. Use the adjective to describe the person when you are talking to them.
3. Observe how they actively try and fit into that personality characteristic you have just labelled them with.

When you see an example you will realise just how simple this technique is.

The Adjective Persuasion Principle in Action

Let’s pretend your boss at work has a difficult time accepting any new ideas you offer him. Using the principle you are going to persuade him to be more open-minded towards you.

Here’s what you say:

It always amazes me how open-minded you are to the new ideas I have.

Then sit back and watch them lap up even the craziest ideas you have.

Let’s try another one, this time on a friend:

I love how adventurous you are. You are so fun to be around.

This example has two adjectives that complement each other stacked together. When you next see your friend, drop this phrase into the conversation at the appropriate moment. In the next few weeks you’ll notice them becoming more fun and adventurous.

The beauty of this principle is that the person does not have to be adventurous or fun for it to work.

The Need to Be Accepted

I can hear you saying, ‘How can this possibly work!?’. Let me explain…

As humans, we are strongly conditioned to seek acceptance from others. We all want other people to like us…badly!

So if someone says to you, ‘You are so fun to be around’, you instinctively understand that the person values fun and you will unconsciously alter your behaviour in order to appear more fun to them.

Once you’ve labelled someone as ‘cool’ or ‘adventurous’ or ‘intelligent’ they will want to prove that your label is accurate to both themselves and you! It’s the same reason why parents who continually tell their children how proud they are of them, will raise successful kids…because unconsciously they want to prove their label correct.

That’s why the adjective needs to be positive. It should be something that the person would like to be anyway, even if they are not. It will make them work towards it because you’ve given them confidence that they already posses that characteristic because you’ve just told them it’s why you like them!

For best results use the same adjectives on the same person repeatedly over a period of time. You should also work with people you already have a rapport with such as lovers, family or friends.

Some More Examples

• I love how kind and caring you are.
• You’re such a generous person.
• It amazes me how healthy you are.
• I love the fact you are always on time whenever we meet.
• I’ve never met anyone with so much energy as you!
• You’re the most reliable friend I have.

In Summary

I can’t stress to you how powerful and persuasive this technique is.

By labeling someone with a positive characteristic they will begin moulding themselves to fit your label because they want your appreciation and acceptance and you will get the benefit of that characteristic.

Don’t just absorb this information and think how clever it is. Get out there and USE IT to improve your relationships!

Romance means different things to different people and especially different sexes which is why romance is something that is often at the root of a disagreement in relationships.

I know, very stereotypical the whole woman complaining to her husband that he needs to be more romantic thing. Sadly there are plenty of men putting in what they think is a decent effort and the reason it goes unnoticed may be simply because his idea of romance isn’t quite what hers is.

Here is perfect example of that; a former boyfriend once showed up on a Friday night to pick me up from my evening shift and told me he had a big surprise for me. After driving for about and hour we pulled into a campground. Much to my horror he had planned a surprise weekend of camping because he thought it would be romantic and spontaneous and just the kind of thing that would make my heart flutter because I had expressed a love of road trips and weekends away. I actually meant road trips by day and a quaint bed and breakfast in another town by night – not a long drive after having worked all evening followed by pitching a tent in darkness in a bug infested wilderness! But can you see how this happened?

Understanding your partner’s idea of romance is the key to planning the perfect romantic evening or getaway or buying the perfect romantic gift. Sometimes just listening isn’t enough as my example shows and you’ll need to learn to read between the lines and if all else fails, there is nothing wrong with asking point blank what he or she considers romantic. Hey – communication is never a bad thing in a relationship!

Planning a romantic weekend or buying the perfect gift doesn’t always have to be a total surprise either. Actually, if you’re not one hundred percent certain about what your partner wants or considers to be truly romantic; getting them in on the planning or even the shopping is not a cop out! Instead of trying to surprise them with a romantic weekend away or what you think is a romantic gift, why not surprise them with a night in front of the computer planning that perfect getaway together or browsing a romantic gifts site and letting them choose something they absolutely love!

That is just as spontaneous and generous while cutting out the risk of your making yet another bad choice when it comes to romance in your relationship. Besides, it’s also a great way to see first hand what they choose and consider romantic so that you know for the next time.

Clever isn’t it?